June 29, 2008

  • spongebob square pants and migraines

    So I have totally been neglecting this blog. I have loads of time but  I don't care to spend it on the computer. But I was sitting here eating my spongebob pasta that I had to fight to open since my can opener has decided it hates me. Thank god for big pointy knives lol... I'm not overly hungry but I spent a large portion of my day fighting a migraine and figure I need to eat anything at this point.  My poor ex I don't think he quite knew what to do when I was at his place.  I went and laid on his bed and hoped it would pass and it just got worse to the point I was crying and prob damn near hyper ventilating because I havent had a migraine that bad in some time.  He knew I wasn't feeling too hot and then he heard me sobbing, I'm very glad he was there he came in and cuddled me and told me I need to calm down because I was just getting my blood pressure up and it was going to make it worse.  With the cuddles and the soothing talk I eventually startedto calm down. He made some hot dogs to eat I'm not big on them but I choked one down and then he got a call to go to work, and it was crazy pouring out. So we got in the car and I think he was still a bit worried because he took me on a couple deliveries with him and kept asking if I was ok and if it was getting better. It got pretty much better was still making me cry a bit so he brought me home and I crashed out til about 7ish.  So I have been trying to entertain myself until hopefully he messages me and I can go over to his place again and sleep.  Yes I could sleep at home but I don't like sleeping alone. He's the same way most nights after work I end up at his place to cuddle and sleep.  I have like no clean clothes and really no motivation to do any laundry so might wear jeans to work tomorrow.  I'm so frustrated with my doctor right now.  The ex took me to my doctors appointment on thursday and after my allergic reation my doctor has decided to not prescribe anything else for my arthritis because I'm trending towards being allergic to all non steroidal anti inflammatories so he told me that since I can take Advil and ibuprofen thats what he suggests I take meanwhile advil and ibuprofen have not worked for my arthritis for like 6 years or more. And on thursday on the way home in the car I couldnt even sit on my left side had to hold myself out of the seat and was crying, poor ex didnt know what to do, eventually I changed to pants and within the hour most of the pain was gone. I stayed at his place too while I was having the allergic reation from hell. went two days without a reaction so thought I would get a good nights sleep... nope about 2 or 3 am i woke up itching and hot and got so frustrated was crying and ex covered me up with a sheet and told me i needed to relax that I was probably fevering up again and tried to comfort me but I took my meds and it wouldnt stop itching and I was so overheated I eventually got up and went home because I didnt want to keep him up and was so frustrated was crying, so came home and showered and crashed in front of my fan and thats where I stayed most of the day because I couldnt get dressed because it felt like I had rolled in insulation. Eventually it got better and my ex was more upset that I left then stayed and kept him up. so stayed at his place that night and had a fairly decent sleep.

    At one point shortly after my birthday I tried to call things totally off with my ex because I was geting to attached boy was I in for a surprise he told me that he loved me and he didnt want it to end, he's still just not ready to commit because he needs to get his life straight and get a job etc etc.... so needless to sat i was shocked but actually rather happy, I know my ex wasnt always the greatest to me but things have rather changed and kind of evolved we talk easier now and he knows not to just fly off the handle at me and Im the same. so anyway my pasta is sitting here getting cold because its not what I really wanted..... meh time for a shower

     

    later Dayz

    lovers Brandi