August 1, 2008

  • Will I ever win

    So I have been off work for about a month now... I'm broke still no Ei, have rent to pay and my man problems are unbelievable.  Oh and on top of being off for migraines i ended up getting a huge absys on the roof of my mouth and on tuesday I have a root canal.  So I'm down home in des and I have this incredible urge to talk to my ex William, so I send him a message on facebook and we get to talking, seems neither of us is quite sure why we broke up after continuing to talk for a couple weeks we have decided to hook up and probably get back together, now will works full time for a security company so I have been patiently waiting for today so that i could see him and nothing works out so he couldnt make it down tonight and then my long time friends jay and maybn have now decided after over 10 years of me being there for them and telling them nothing but the truth that they cant trust me so they are ending our friendship and i hate it I'd never lie and whatever they tell me to keep secret i do as I do with all my friends.  I'm not a saint but i will admit when im wrong or have done something wrong and try to make it right.  It tires me out I get involved inadvertently in drama that i have no wish to be a part of but even though not being friends would solve alot of that these people are like my family and its hard to think that they would make me choose because the whole story is im hanging out with amanda another friend of mine whom jay had a relationship with and now it seems that they want me to choose and are saying i was prank calling them and shit which i would never do i think i did it once when i was 10 and it was so immature even then that I have never done it since like whats the point. plus its long distance and im at my grandparents like duh... and im so worried about will and i like i just wanna be with him and be happy but i dunno if we can be but i guess ill only know if i try...again... i dunno weird vent i have more but too lazy to type....

     

    lovers Brandi