So the other day I went to an orthopedic doctor at the request of my regular doctor because ever since I can remember I have had knee pain. They have tried drugs and physiotherapy and I had an xray done. And since nothing was wrong on the xray I was referred... why I don't know. The ortho poked and prodded same as any doctor who has looked at my knees twisted and pulled. asked me to stand and noticed my toes point inward. wooo I was then told that I had knee pain....wow really I didnt know that. Surgery wouldn't be beneficial.
Ok so now what I explained that it hurts now in my hips and ankles and basically got told I was fat. "Slightly overweight" Now maybe this wouldn't bother me but I have been at a variety of weights in my lifetime. My first bad bout with this knee pain and the physio therapy because I couldn't walk up stairs was when I was like 15 or 16 and weighed 120 lbs on a 5'6 frame. At that time I also had issues with my back due to crap posture and falling on my tailbone like 6 times in a year.
Physio was painful and I never felt I reaped any major benfits from it... Yes eventually I could walk up and down stairs more from sheer will and nothing else but I still always had this pain.
Not for lack of exercise either I lived on a large property and took care of a number of animals ranging from cats and dogs to horses and chickens. I helped my parents side houses and shovel snow for the business. I helped them clean apartments and paint and mow grass. I rode atv's and sleds and horses. Chopped and hauled wood all year round. Swam, biked and skated but apparently thats not enough.
Walking is not exercise according to this doctor stating it doesnt strengthen the leg muscles? you mean the muscles you just told me can withstand 3 times my body weight on a daily basis? I worked quads and hams in highschool gym classes and was lifting more than most people in my class on leg presses and most everything else but apparently even then at 120lbs I had "the weight to put behind it" It just frustrates me to no end when doctors just pawn you off on yet another doctor an when they see that you might be overweight that is the key to all your problems.
They dont look at anything else but then people as a whole seem to be more intent on judging people on how they look then on who they are or what they do or have achieved. I'm guilty I have done it... maybe not in such a blatant way as the numerous doctors and teachers I have encountered. And though I may have done it I take the time to try and see an individual for who they are not what they look like.
So anyway thats my rant I'm fed up with a world that blames everything on weight I'm not saying being overweight is healthy but I am saying that it is not always the cause of every problem. 120lbs 140 lbs 180 lbs 200 lbs I've been at all these and always had the problem. I'm not a huge exerciser I walk alot and I try and go crazy and burn up a major sweat on my ddr pad and sometimes I'll play hacky sack or go shoot hoops or kick a soccer ball around. I can't afford more physio and I can't afford to go to the gym and I don't have the space for exercise equipment but I do what I can.
Next I gotta call my aunt and see who her doctor is since after years of knee problems apparently he was theone who figured out that it was actually her hip....
I'm left to my own research now since the Canadian medical profession has failed me yet again!

So I went to the dentist today. I knew going in that I would be losing two possibly 3 teeth in the near future. I was ok with that because I was going to get a bridge. Then I had my consultation yeah so I def have to have two teeth removed and the third is either a root canal or removal. No big surprise. But then after x-rays and an exam guess what brushing, flossing rinsing three times a day or more? Not good enough Pretty much every tooth has a cavity and all need imminent attention like if I let it go for a year there is a good chance I will lose all my front teeth....... Not cool. Know what else isnt cool? Insurance only covers 1200 dollars of work per year....that is to say that after the cost of my initial visit and 3 extractions? well thats my 1200 for the year and so the vicious cycle continues because as stated above a year from now I might lose all my front teeth.

Bah can you say super frustrated? So here are my options. do nothing which anyone who knows me this is not an option I love my teeth I do everything in my power to take care of them and fail. Second I can do all that is allowed under insurance and then wait a year and see if I have any teeth left to fix in the new year. Three I can do all insurance will allow and try to then pay out of pocket which isnt really a viable option as I make no more than $800 a month rent is 300 hydro is about 100 a month cable and internet is almost 100 cell phone which is my landline as well is about 80 a month thats 580 I'm also planning a wedding and haven't factored in cost of food etc or medication of any of that stuff. Or my fourth option is do everything I can under insurance then talk real nice to Aaron or some other person I know with outstanding credit and see about getting a loan to get my teeth fixed and then pay it back...... I have crappy if any credit so I don't even know if that is a viable option either.

Depressing I just want to crawl in bed and cry. And for those of you who never see a dentist and never take care of your teeth be wary. I don't eat alot of junk food nor do I drink much pop but I'm still screwed. I did however find out two things If you are like me and love coffee and take sugar in said coffee? Don't the dentist has advised me that sweetener is a better option to prevent tooth decay, whereby I am still able to enjoy my coffee and really folks no real big difference in taste... Also Fruit juices? evil! There is alot of natural sugars in fruit juices and your better option is to eat the fruit getting the nutrients from it as well as the juice and flavor. And though sweetener is a great option for coffee and tea don't think it means you can drink diet pop....why you say? because pop is acidic regardless of what is used to flavor it. And Energy drinks like gatorade and powerade and all that? also apparently bad.

So I guess we might all as well drink water.

So I'm on the hunt to make some wildly interesting centerpieces for the wedding. Megs and Vee came up with penguins and at first Aaron didnt go for it but then he suggested penguins on snowmobiles or jeeps. I've been looking around and let me tell you not having much luck in that department. So before the penguin idea there was the tree like centerpieces in like a square dish. So in my lack of sleep and wacky ideas I thought hey what if I could find penguin jeep and snowmobile charms? like for a cell phone but silver? Well I did penguins and jeeps anyway.... So then I got to thinking, we also need to have favors or at least I would like to..... So why not do the funky tree thing with the penguin and jeep charms hanging from the trees maybe with little leaf shaped tags? Each guest could then take a charm and either wear it or put it on their cell phone or whatever....... what do you think all?

So I went looking for crafty e-books and well e-books in general on the internet and I came across a great site. Actually a few but this is the one I'm talking about today. Fave Crafts I get a daily newsletter with cool things in it and today they had a contest, it seems to be running for a bit. And I thought maybe you fellow crafters out there may be interested. the link to check out the contest is Metal Clay Giveaway The only major downside I can see is after you submit your entry it goes to a big free lotto page which you can't skip by... Not cool but if any of you want to try it out the link is above.

Yay! I had to go buy fat pants. This just adds to my depression I spent like all of yesterday in bed just to have to buy fat clothes how awesome is that? And now I'm trying to stay out of bed by writing this somehow I don't think it will work. Aaron and I are grr again and I'm stuck at home I just want to give up.... yep I think thats what I'll do I'm going to bed

So since I'm unemployed atm and we are rather tight for money I'm gonna go back to what I did when I was a kid. Make gifts because I truly believe what my mom always said about home made gifts meaning more. I haven't figured out exactly what I'll make everyone or who all will get gifts but I have a few ideas forming.

Deyna and I went to Michaels and Value village today and although I didn't even get close to the fabric section I did get near the books and picked up two books with craft ideas in them. I perused them at Deyna's and found quite a few I would like to try my hand at. I love the fact that one of the books is crafts from scraps cuz I always keep my little bits from all my sewing projects. I was a little disappointed though as I could not find any knitting books. ah well.

We had originally started out to see new moon but it was sold out... oh well get to see it sometime. I again didn't wear my brace as I thought it would be difficult to sit in a theatre with it on or dangerous to have it propped in the aisle. Again it was a bad idea and you would think I would learn by now.

My cat is determined to kill me as he loves to lay in the middle of the floor and since I can barely lift my leg off the ground I keep getting stuck on him....bah he's evil I tell ya.

Called the doc today to see about getting this leg thing dealt with sooner and the receptionist couldn't understand why I didn't want to wait two more weeks..... I tried to explain to her that the ER doc only stuck me in this stupid thing until I could see my family doctor and get proper treatment as its not a quick fix. Eventually she put me on a cancellation list but that probably won't pan out.

The pain is rather excruciating today achy and stabby. boo. Hmmm well nothing else to report.
Later Dayz
Brandi

So I was just sitting here having a glass of peach schnapps and cranberry juice and I remembered that a couple weeks ago while cleaning the trailer I found a lot of my old sketches for clothing designs. I'm hoping they didn't get tossed but it is giving me the urge to sketch again I just wish I had software to do it directly to the comp. Anyway we shall see and if anyone knows any software let me know.
Today I didn't wear my brace while trying to sweep, vacuum and do dishes and running back and forth to the laundry room for 3 loads of laundry. Bad idea I'm quite sore now and it seems the brace is irritating it. I tried calling the family doc to find out if any sooner appointments as I do not want to wait another two weeks and be stuck in that stupid brace but spent two hours listening to a busy signal. I did get a hold of the physio doc only to be told its like $75 for initial consultation and then I dunno 40ish each visit after that. Some thing I can not afford even when making money but especially when I don't have a job and I'm laid up.
Tomorrow Aaron is gonna drive me down to drop off my ROE at EI and hope it won't take forever to process but not holding my breath.
After that I imagine I'll job hunt some more and work on some projects, I picked up circular needles to try my hand at felting a hat. And then want to put a fishnet veil on it. Also I still need to make Aaron's suit jacket so I think I'll get on that soon. I'm glad I got my wedding dress. Well I just ran out of thoughts so good night.
Later Dayz,
Brandi

So today sucked. Period. After getting up I twisted my knee a million times even with the brace on. So I was confined to the couch. Aaron left to go work on his truck. And I was ordered to not have a shower til Amanda got home in case I fell...sucky I get the concern I do but I hate being limited.
Walked to the store as I said and well I dont think I'll be doing that for awhile. Went out to grab a coffee and grab a sub later on torture but I'm not gonna be an invalid. Hardest part is getting in and out of the truck.
I love that Amanda and Aaron are so concerned but I dont like having to be helped. There is so much to do here like clean and organize and I cant even do that. And I dont want them to feel obligated to do everything for me.
So I started looking up the leg brace I have to wear online to see if there were any recommendations and such that I wasn't aware of. No luck nothing really about them on line. So then I started looking for Patellofemoral Syndrome and found a load of info. Though I'm finding that most say it doesnt last long but I have been dealing with it for years. I really didnt think there was an issue with the strength of my thighs considering the amount of walking I do and I have found proper shoes and tried bracing icing and all that jazz.
I'm thinking that I really need to sign up to a gym with a pool and ellipticals and all that since apparently my walking and DDRing routine is not working.
Lol so while the brace might be helping my knee its not so good for the right leg or hips or lower back trying to walk with it on causes a lot of pain elsewhere....
Well anyway I dunno I guess I'm just a little down that my independence has been taken even temporarily, Tomorrow is a new day I'm sure it can only get better.
Here's a link to some info on my condition
Patellofemoral Syndrome or Chrondromalacia Patella

I guess I should be happy that it says it is common in physically fit and active people lol

Well Ihad to go to the er last night when my normal knee pain became not so normal. It twisted and pained and so I thought ok I'll soak in the tub. So while attempting to run a bath I leaned against the tub...bad idea I got sharp pain shooting through my leg so bad i screamed and almost fell into the tub, thankfully I caught myself.  So in tears I limped into the kitchen and  Aaron came over and asked if I was ok to which I just shook my head and cried some more.  He decided I had best got get it looked at. So I did and I was in the ER for about 3 or 4 hours.

Turns out I have Patello femural syndrome. And I;m pretty sure I knew that but had forgotten.  Dr said I would grow out of it when I went to physio when I was like 15 because I couldnt walk up and down stairs.  I have been on numerous anti inflammatories in the previous years only to develop an allergy to most of them when I was like 18. The only thing I can take is ibuprofen but it doesnt really do much.  Anyway Im one of the lucky few who apparently didnt grow out of the condition and now I'm stuck in a brace which is making life a living hell. I walked like a block to the store and back and I'm beat... not just beat everything else now hurts too from having to work so hard to drag around my bad leg.

I'm to wear this all the time until I can see my family doctor on Dec 5 and see what he says. I also have to go through physio again. ick.

I feel completely useless and like Im just hindering everyone else. I try and laugh it off when others laugh I get it, its funny to see my peg legging around but it hurts. I'm also kinda down because I'm stuck at home on the couch. Aaron left early to fix his truck which shouldnt have taken long but apparently a broken clamp has hindered him and its now been many hours.... I really didnt think a clamp would take that long... I'm feeling more like he just wanted to get away from me and my crippled bum leg. it sucks. So sad.

Anyway later dayz im not in the mood to reflect anymore on that

Well I'm blaming them anyway, not you know the fact I never get much sleep unless I'm sleeping off a migraine.  I have gotten cupboards near done just have to mount and paint upper doors and I'm good to go which should be maybe another couple hours work and only because I have to let the different coats dry.

My interview went well I believe but then how do you really ever know? unless they call. I also applied for a couple other positions today we shall see.

E-rocks band was great and left me wanting more, sadly there was none boo. I attempted to get D and L to come out but apparently L is jealous or something? she didnt want to go out and she didnt want D  to come out with me in a public place with a bunch of our mutual friends including Erock and some others. I wish there was someway for me to tell her that D and I are nothing but friends though we have history. Tried it, was weird and not right and I am totally committed to Aaron and just want my friendship with D like it was, but alas shit happens.

Some people never learn and I am just glad that both Aaron and I respect that the other had friends and a life before us and we are ok with that. Speaking of Aaron I'm missing him terribly and cannot wait til he gets home. I suppose I should be planning our wedding but I think it will all come together without too much effort.

Hmmm well I think I need a long soak in the tub and a couple hours sleep before I have to babysit my neice.