So I have an appointment in September with a neurologist to prep me for a lumbar puncture. I applied for ODSP and we will see how that goes... Doc said might be better to try and get regular EI Benefits so working on that.... The local member of parliament never called back...go figure.

I had to change my meds which sucks and I am experiencing drug hangovers and sleeping more in the middle of the day and less a night.  And I been getting wicked ass headaches from these new meds... how awesome is that?

On top of all that my mood has went into the crapper and now I'm biting off Aaron's head when he's the only thing that makes me happy and supports all this crap all the time. I keep inadvertently pushing him away and its scary.  I hate that I rely on him so much and that he is often the only reason I even try and drag my ass out of bed. I think I would be totally lost without his support but sometimes I just dont know what to say and then I get frustrated and angry. It's a vicious cycle.

I'm supposed to go to the Big Music Fest on Saturday and I feel so crappy I almost told Deyna to take the other ticket and find someone who will be fun.  Though Aaron will hear nothing of it... says I need to get out but thinking about going out no matter how enjoyable it should be is depressing.   would have loved to have a drink or two this weekend but if my mood doesnt pick up it will just make it worse. and even if I luck out and do feel better chances are as soon as I take a sip of alcohol I'll have a raging headache.... Now its not really a big deal but this is the first time Deyna and I have gotten to go out in years and the first time she will be able to drink in like 22 months or something... Was hoping we could party and celebrate.

If it werent for the roomie Jules the housework would be piled up to my ears this week, such a shitty week trying to adjust to new meds and on top of that I have an infection in my left gland from my teeth which the government would rather rip out of my head and replace with false ones than take the steps to repair them which in the long run is probably cheaper. Oh how I miss benefits from work.

I got a new bunny his Name is Philthy or Phil for short and he is a lionhead and oh so adorable. Though Ches isn't quite sure what to think of him, friend or food? Phil is in need of a larger cage which sucks but we are looking. He amuses me to no end with his side hopping and daredevil dives off the couch and coffee table. But the most amusing of all is that he seems to think Aaron is own personal bathroom unless of course Aaron is wearing my clothes.

Tomorrow or rather today someone is coming to look at our counter so it can finally be replaced woot! maybe then I will enjoy cooking but I doubt it I'm way too used to Aaron cooking which can be a problem when he isn't here all week... I tend to slack off on the eating ... oops

I gained weight back and I'm so pissed. I love to walk and its what has been keeping the weight off but because my knees have taken a turn for the worst a 20 minute walk has me near tears now and so that has lead to me not wanting to go anywhere.  Though I have been taking less dizzy spells. Hopefully someday it will straighten out and be normal, waiting on physio therapy hopefully it works....

Well it looks like I'll only be getting 3 hours sleep since I dunno when the counter man is coming... bah. better try and sleep now

Later Dayz
Brandi

So yeah not too much new, been working on some new aprons I have one more done and one on the go which will probably be done tomorrow.... Pretty Spiffy

So I went to the neurosurgeon on May 7/09 and so far no surgery which is good but I have trouble walking and I have to wait for another appointment with another neurosurgeon to have a lumbar puncture for testing... I'm told it's not very pleasant and I know that I hate the idea of a big needle in my back..... I have this cartoonish image of a crazy doctor with wild eyes, long rubber gloves and a needle twice the size of me squirting fluid into the air.... but I suppose its better than another hole in the head lol....

The downside to all of this is the Doctor has advised that I do not work for a year. So I'm seeking ODSP problem is I'm on OW and apparently my worker doesnt grasp the concept that this is going to be ongoing considering its already been a year and doc issued another year.... So she hasn't taken the proper steps to get me set up.. Oh joy, oh bliss.

So today I spent most of my day making calls to try and get straightened out... I even went directly to ODSP and they told me nope sorry can't help you until  your worker sends the referral I advised of my worker's apparent lack of enthusiasm to which they still said nope sorry and didn't even try to help or give me any information on how to deal with her....

Awesome, So I contacted my local Member of Parliament and explained the situation however as they were on lunch I had to leave a message and still have not recieved a call back.  I'm sure there will be a call within a day or two....

I had to sit around all day and wait for a call that never came, I finally said to heck with it and went with the roomie to mall and after one tour around mall and to pet store my poor knees were screaming bloody murder.... damn low pressure system wish it would just hurry up and rain and get it over with....

But on the upside had spinach pizza and kd and man was it tasty.... Aaron bought me like 5 spinach pizzas because they are my fav next to 3 cheese and higher lol..... I was so beat I thought I would be sleeping by ten but Aaron didn't call til around then and we sat chatting.....

Now its 3:01 am and I'm thinking my sleep cycle is severly damaged... bah. And another downside my medication that helps prevent my migraines its not covered under my gov benefits and I don't have the almost $80 to pay for it each month so now I have to see if there is anything else we can try and go through a transition phase in which I probably will sleep through most of a few days... Joy.....

Well lets hope the neurosurgeon calls and we can get somewhere with this big mess....

Later Dayz Loverz
Brandi

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lol that was the inspiration behind this  apron. I made it for my future sister in law after numerous comments at the engagement party that she "looks like June Cleaver" It's reversible but I didn't take pics as my camera is dead and I had to use my cell phone bah.... .just imagine the panels in reverse and you have the other side. I made it all from materials I already had. the blue was from a sheet and the plaid was fabric I obtained over a year ago to make into curtains and while some of it did get made into curtains. Some of it did not as you can see... lol

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Sorry it's been awhile since I have written, hectic here.  As you might recall I get terrible migraines and almost constant headaches.  It has been going on for so long now and standard treatment doesn't seem to be doing it.  I'm supposed to see a neurosurgeon somewhere in the future who knows when that will happen and my doctor expects me to live off of working part time.

That's not going so well. Things have piled up a bit but I'm holding on pretty well. I still take my daily meds but recently my boyfriend Aaron was talking to his mechanic and friend who was explaining to him more about this monavie stuff.  Richard is a mechanic for big rigs and has had problems with his back and other health issues including weight since Christmas he has lost 50 lbs and a few weeks ago he hurt his back bad in the shop and he says he just took a little more monavie and was back to work come monday.. Pretty spiffy, but Aaron has been hearing about this stuff for awhile because his dad has also been taking it twice a day every day for three months... he has heart issues and joint problems including a bad hip that gives him terrible pain when he sleeps, a couple weeks ago Aarons dad told him that the pain in his hip is substantially less than it was....again pretty cool but he was still not sold.  What sold Aaron I think was a young lady that Richard knows who is in her mid twenties and has been having alot of headaches and migraines for many years, Richard had her try the mona vie and after 3 months of taking it she has not had even a small headache!

So Aaron had mentioned it a few times before but because monavie is pricey I balked at the idea. He called me and explained all the good things people he knows have been experiencing and asked if I would try it because as far as he is concerned if it makes me feel better and maybe stops a neurosurgeon from having to go into my head then it is well worth it and I have to say I agree. So Aaron ordered it on the spot and made sure he got the Active as I also have arthritis and the active contains a liquid form of glucosamine.

The shipment came in about a week ago and I started taking it that day a 1 oz gel pack in the morning and one at night. The taste is not as sweet as most berries but is not unpleasant however because it is essentially skin seed and pulp all in it it can be a little thick.  So I cam up with a solution for that.... Fruit Smoothies! woo Aaron and I purchased frozen yogurt and mixed berries, rasberry, blueberry, strawberry and blackberry I believe and 100% fruit juices and I make up a smoothie and mix in my monavie with that, and it really helps to mellow out the natural sweetness of the berries. And they are oh so filling I usually dont need to eat in the morn or late in the evening.

So it's been 6 days that I have been taking it and while some may not believe me I'm feeling much better. The week before I started I had to come home early due to scents setting off a migraine and a stress attack and i was off for two additional days after that. I used to always have to nap in the after noon after work and now I don't in fact it is 1:41 am and I had about 5 hours sleep last night and no nap today and I'm wide awake and feeling great...except this chair hurts my butt....
The day before I started we had a low pressure sytem come in which set off my arthritis so bad I could barely walk and except for a few minor twinges 2days ago my legs feel great even with all the crazy rain, snow,sun weather....

Yes people can sell mona vie to make profit and maybe people will buy it from me but thats not the aim of all this. I just want to feel better and let people know it works and if they think it will work for them then they can talk to me or look into it themselves. Personally the best thing about any great product is how it works for people and makes them feel not how much money I can profit from it... But thats just my two cents.

Oh and I hear that it is supposed to help in weight loss now I'm not overly heavy to begin with but I will add another post at a later date with latest weights and keep updated if there are any changes...

Later Dayz
Brandi

 I thought I might share some of my sewing projects the newest one is a dress I am making for my neice.. my sewing is definetly my sanity.... Aaron realizes this so he doesn't mind if I buy the odd thing for it or if I ask him to buy some fabric at value village.... so lets see.... I bought a pattern at value village and didn't like it so much so I modified it and made this.... here is another view I love this dress I am very proud of it. It's not done yet and My life would be a lot easier if I had a serger but since they are at the least a couple hundred dollars its not in my budget.... I'll post updated photos when its done.... Next are some fabulous pics of my aunt being silly trying on a skirt/ dress combo I made for her for my cousins grad... as you can see solid black on the bottom and print up top... it has a tie...that my aunt happened to tie around her head that can be used as a belt or there are a couple loops in the waistband that allow the skirt to be tied up in a variety of ways as a dress.... I also made her a matching print top for this skirt if that wasn't suitable...but no photos... the last is a skirt I made out of a fabulous satin type fabric that I picked up in the cheap bin at Wal mart in a nice olive drab color.... this one was a pain... it's a ruffle skirt and I couldn't find a pattern to save my life in store or online so I had to wing it... it has rough finished edges and this particular pic was taken when it was 3/4 of the way done the skirt when finished actually fell to just above knee length... I have many more things but these are a few that I had pics handy for... So what ya think?

Brandi

All the better to think with? or so you would think.  So as some of you recall I have been fighting migraines for the better part of a year now, I have been on daily meds since I dunno june or so had a leave of absense from work july to sept had a CT scan sometime after that.... on that they thought they seen enlarged ventricles.... so I was scheduled for an MRI in february.... got those results end of february I most definetly do have enlarged ventricles....

Now for those that don't kow this is where the fluid that cusions your brain resides, most of the time it circulates and is reabsorbed or something along those lines...pardon me my memory is shot. for me mine apparently just keeps being made... there is a possibility of a blockage in one of those wonderful ventricles, so now I have to go see a neurosurgeon in Kingston. 

 However since its a specialist lord knows how long I will actually wait, so far two weeks.  It's a stressful time in my life not that all of the events leading up to this weren't stressful however the possibilty of having to have a shunt inserted into my brain cavity to drain the fluid is scary as all hell! 

And my work? just another day at the office they couldn't care less I spent almost 2 days at home with a migraine that was really set off by someone wearing scents but do they enforce that policy? nope.. it's frustrating it's like walking around with a ticking timebomb on your shoulders yet I'm the only one who hears the ticking..

I just want to go back to normal or at least as close as I can get I'm sick of nap times and pills and dark sunglasses on a cloudy day. I work 4 hours a day from 12-4 I don't wake up until 9:30 I leave at 11 and by the time I get home I have no ambition or energy to do anything but drop my stuff feed the cat and curl up in my bed.  Then I screw myself like I did tonight by sleeping til like 9:30.

I have a pile of dishes in the sink a pile of laundry in the bedroom and a damn near empty stomach. By the time I did wake up I was still groggy and tired it was too late for the laundry still no ambition for the dishes and who wants to cook for themselves? I hate it I really do.

Some people find religion during times like these I don't I have friends and family and if it weren't for Aaron and mom and vee and dana and the rest I'm sure I would have given up by now.  But aaron he keeps me going because I know how much he cares I know its not going to scare him away he comes to evey appointment even if he has to take time off work and the one time he had to miss because his work was being dinks he made sure to belittle them and make sure they knew what he missed and that what they had done was wrong(the day I found out I had to go to a neurosurgeon) and he was there that night. I know that if I was stuck working 4 hours a day for the rest of my life he would still be here and he would still make it work somehow. He's my rock and I'm so glad I have him.

But enough for tonight later Dayz

Brandi

I have to say looking back at the old posts ya I needed to move on. And did So with much urging from my best friends I also had to go through something no woman should have to with my ex however I'm stronger because of it.  Because of Deyna and Julie I really started to see and  did make the push to get the ex out.  It worked but only after a series of unfortunate events. I am happy to say following the series of unfortunate events and maybe a bit before when I had made it known it was over I met someone, now I realize that doesn't sound to hot however, let me explain. 

That someone I didn't really meet I have known him for 7 years or more.  We recently got back in touch.  His name is Aaron and he is Deyna's brother. He is 10 years older than me but he is most definetly the best thing to happen to me. Aaron took me to dinner around the time of my last post, strictly as friends just to catch up and hang out as he could tell I was in need of some good friends. 

We had a great time a great meal and after wards he dropped me off with a promise of keeping in touch.  Little did we both know how much so. My series of unfortunate events lead to me having to go to the police station numerous times accompanied by Deyna and Julie, however one night both of them were busy and I had to go again, Aaron was in town and he offered to take me, I was a ball of nerves and had been for days. but he was right there the whole time.

After all was said and done he had a coffee for me and we went back to my place and Julie was home from work so we all chilled on the couch watching the tv.  My friends are so great you have no idea. I was so paranoid I walked around and everytime I walked by the door I made sure it was locked. That night I asked Aaron if he would stay because it was a comfort to have him there and he did. He stayed the next night too.. nothing happened he just stayed and held me all night.

 I think those were the best nights sleep I had had in a long while. that was in december. It's been three months now and while I still won't go to the mall outside of going to shoppers to pick up a package I don't always have to check to make sure the door is locked. Blue montana vans still make me paranoid but I think they always will.  But I found the man for me, we laugh and joke all the time, we never fight granted I get bitchy from time to time but Aaron never holds it against me and he always takes it in stride.

The biggest discrepancy we ever had was over money and it was because we were both so used to being the one to have to pay or give money out it was a bit trying until we talked about it and now we just kinda divy it 50/50 or whatever works depending on whos got the better pay. Im still a bit sticky about lettign him help pay hydro and stuff but I'm coming to terms. The best relationships are based of trust, laughter and talking. At least thats what I think

I believe I could easily spend the rest of this life and the next with him. I'll keep ya posted

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